Pepy's Diary: The Missing Pages

1 May 1669:

Up betimes, to tremendous ado in street below. I ventured forth to find a man, calling himself Prince Vulpine of Essex, who hath come forth from the year 2013 in what he calls a 'time machine'. He being full of merry discourse, I allowed him the spare room.

2 May:

I at office all day with Sir W Pen and Sir G Carteret, signing accounts for the fleet laid up at Deptford. Home in the evening to find my wife and Prince both distempered, looking redfaced and stuttering. A capon for supper, then to bed.

3 May:

To market for fruit. Prince enraged at finding a wyrm in his apple, did lob said apple into the air where it struck Mr Newton a mighty blow. Prince full of apology, but Mr Newton seemed distracted.

4 May:

To Westminster by water with Sir W Pen and Prince, to my Duke of York's chambers in Whitehall where a chest full of gold coin ready for us, to pay the fleet at Deptford. Prince did gaze upon the Duchess of York and declare that he hath never seen a finer chest.

5 May:

To Mr Wren's house by Eastcheap, where he proudly showed us the plans for the new St Paul's, destroyed in the recent conflagration. Prince did annoy him exceeding well by saying, 'It would look better with a dome on it.'

6 May:

To the playhouse with my wife and Prince, whose tittering between themselves doth drive me to distraction. Saw Romeo and Juliet, itself the silliest play that ever I saw, and I wonder at my wife reddening and glancing at Prince during the bedroom scene.

7 May:

Prince showed me his time machine, stowed in the cellar, and in truth it looks like a big blue box. He wished me well and departed in a flash of light. To bed, my mind troubled as my wife seems to have vanished also.