1. IRON MAN.
A corporate drama in which a smug arms dealer is blown up by his own weapons, leading to a mid-life crisis during which he battles The Dude from Big Lebowski, and cops off with that Coldplay singer's ex.
2. THE INCREDIBLE HULK.
Brilliant scientist with anger-management issues fails to keep them under control, leading to a street brawl with a Reservoir Dog, when he isn't making eyes at Aragorn's girlfriend.
3. IRON MAN 2.
Smug arms dealer has tussle at a racetrack with Marv from Sin City, and Marv spends the rest of the film feeding his pet cockatiel. The Girl With The Pearl Earring turns up, now with a degree in kung fu.
4. THOR.
Viking God shows us the splendour of his homeworld before spending the rest of the film in the bloody desert. Luke and Leia's mum gets the hots for him, to the consternation of Bootstrap Bill Turner.
5. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE FIRST AVENGER.
Square-jawed, patriotic, one-dimensional wimp experiments with steroids and takes on a Nazi with a dodgy complexion. An Infinity Stone turns up, and nobody knows what it actually is. Men In Black's K stands around looking bemused.
6. AVENGERS ASSEMBLE.
A bunch of people in colourful costumes gather to swap colourful insults, before
7. IRON MAN THREE.
Gandhi turns up as a bearded terrorist. After spending most of the film not being Iron Man, our once smug arms dealer learns that Gandhi is, in fact, a really bad Ricky Gervais impersonator. Coldplay singer's ex glows in the dark.
8. THOR: THE DARK WORLD.
An Infinity Stone turns up, and nobody... you get the picture. Our hero tears himself away from his hairdresser long enough to battle Evil Doctor Who across the Galaxy, winding up in... Greenwich. His brother owns the film.
9. CAPTAIN AMERICA: THE WINTER SOLDIER
Our steroid-pumped Main Man finds himself stuck with The Girl With The Pearl Earring in a 70's spy thriller.
10. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY
An Earthling with parent issues teams up with an alien with parent issues, an Aspergers alien with dead family issues, a talking raccoon and a sentient tree. Somehow, this works. An Infinity Stone turns up, and they actually find out what it is.
11. AVENGERS: AGE OF ULTRON
Anger management scientist and smug arms dealer cock up big time when they cross an AI experiment with an Infinity Stone (but they don't know what it is). Two new Avengers turn up as brother and sister, a bit weird as they were married to each other in Godzilla. Even weirder - one of them is Kick-Ass.d
12. ANT MAN
Criminal tries to go straight by working as a thief for Gordon Gecko. Movie runs out of budget and utilises unused footage from Honey I Shrunk The Kids. A trippy sequence turns up, to prepare us for Doctor Strange.
13. CAPTAIN AMERICA: CIVIL WAR
The Avengers run short of enemies, and decide to beat each other up instead. Spiderman, getting younger every time the actor changes, makes an appearance, as does an African King who likes to disguise himself as a cat.
14. DOCTOR STRANGE
Sherlock - no, not Iron Man, the OTHER Sherlock - decides to follow the Dumbledore career path after meeting the White Witch from Narnia. Film runs out of budget and utilises unused footage from Inception. And Infinity Stone turns up, and is recognised.
15. GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY: VOLUME TWO
Motley crew of space outlaws are stunned to find that their captain's father is Snake Plissken. Stallone also appears but, despite that this movie has both Tango and Cash in it, nobody makes a joke about it. Instead, we get a Mary Poppins gag.
16. SPIDERMAN: HOMECOMING
Peter Parker ignores the years he spent with Sony, and smug arms dealer flirts with his aunt. That probably wouldn't have happened in the Sam Raimi trilogy. Batman turns up as the Vulture. Coldplay singer's girlfriend makes a pointless cameo.
17. THOR: RAGNAROK
Film plays it for comedy by killing off much-loved characters with a complete lack of gravitas, replacing them with Galadriel and a big wolf. Jeff Goldblum appears, to remind us that there truly is only one Jeff Goldblum.
18. BLACK PANTHER
African King who likes to dress up as a cat faces leadership challenges. Gollum turns up as the bad guy, only to get whacked so someone else can be the bad guy. Dr Watson arrives to assist, quite belated compared to the Sherlocks.
19. AVENGERS: INFINITY WAR
The Avengers crap themselves when they realise that one of the Goonies is trying to gather the Infinity Stones. Awesome fight scenes are coupled with smaller, quieter moments as the cast bicker over who should get top billing. By the end, everything is done and dusted.
20. ANT MAN AND THE WASP
Ant Man and Gordon Gecko's daughter team up to rescue her mother, who turns out to be Catwoman. Meanwhile, they fight a nemesis who actually generates considerably more sympathy than they do.
The MCU continues to grind on relentlessly, and all power to it. Something has to keep Star Wars on its toes as well as continuously showing up the DCEU. Hope this guide was helpful.
